The Blissful Blueberry

 

Considering this bird wasn’t brined first, it was probably one of the moistest I have ever made–and for sure the easiest. 

Hannaford had turkey on sale for only 77 cents a pound or something ridiculous like that so I had to buy it. But, it was Sunday and I can’t cook anything Monday through Friday because of my work schedule. I need to do EVERYTHING on Sundays. 

Dilemma? How to thaw the bird. 

I Googled how to rapidly thaw a turkey. Of course, it would take all day even in the sink and plop on cook time and this thing wouldn’t be ready until midnight.

So, I know I’ve cooked chicken straight from frozen–why not a giant turkey, too? 

Thanks, Google! Many articles suddenly appeared on how to do this life-saving task.

There’s even some weird science about how the breast takes longer to thaw because it has greater mass, which levels out the varied cooking times because it will then take the same amount of time to cook as the the legs. So, the breast is not overcooked and dry like it usually is (because usually you have to wait for the legs to finish cooking.)They’re all cooked and tender and moist and done at the same time!

Science!

Besides avoiding the raw juice pathogens, you also get science. 

Step One: Find a pan. 

Step Two: Preheat oven to 325. 

Step Three: Plop frozen bird in pan breast side down. (Don’t worry if you have a thermometer on the breast–it will get flipped later.)

After three and a half hours in the oven, pull out the giblets. I was actually amazed how not hot, yet also not messy, this was. 

I’m so used to disgusting thawed turkey juice and grime going everywhere that this is the cleanest my hands and my counters have ever been while making a turkey dinner. Phew! 

Now, flip that bird!

This is when you can add any seasonings to both sides–pre-flip and post-flip. I didn’t add anything at all to it. Purity for a first test of a recipe…

Next time I’ll probably do some rubbing at this point or throw some citrus and herbs inside, but it tasted delicious on its own!

There’s that thermometer! I usually cook whole chicken and turkey breast side down so all of the fat juices go into it, but, when a thermometer is involved, I change the rules. 

Now, the wait. Total time? 4 1/2 hours for a 12-pound bird. Not bad, not bad. I thought it would take forever, but it was quite quick. 

Did I mention how moist it was? Crisp skin? Ugh. I need it again. 

Our least favorite part is carving because we haven’t mastered that yet. Some day! Maybe I will learn it and do a tutorial! Pshhh. Wishful thinking. 

Oh, and I almost forgot to plan for sides dishes because I was so turkey focused. So, while the hub was carving, I scrubbed two sweet potatoes, stabbed them with forks and popped them in the microwave for ten minutes. 

Squish them, add some ghee and cinnamon and you’re good to eat!

I might have stacked the plates a little too high with meat, but we were starving. Don’t try to eat this much at home, kiddies. 

That’s it! Enjoy! Now, no more worries about where to  keep the thawing turkey in the fridge or gross germs getting everywhere on your counter. The lazy man’s turkey!